headlights

//Wednesday, September 15, 2010 9:37 AM

Once certain things happen to you,
you will realise one day,
that you'd never be able to go back to who you were before.
You change who you are
because the pain was too great
and you bury it deep down,
deep deep down,
you remake yourself into someone else,
you pass everyday,
unfeeling,
with those things buried so deep in your consciousness,
that they eventually become part of your unconsciousness.
As time passes,
you forget about their existences,
but these insidious devilish intangibles
still lurk around like those cockroaches living under your noses undetected.
Some day,
certain things happen again,
history repeats itself they say,
you got reminded of how you used to be,
you started getting those chills from these deja vu.
Unknowingly,
you started turning back to your old self,
thinking you've healed,
thinking you're strong, you're superman.
That's when these blardy time bombs resurface in your mind.
You begin to feel the pain,
so raw just like back then.
That's when you wake up wondering
if the world has moved at all.
Have you been dreaming all these time,
happily thinking that you're over it?
And that's when you awaken;
that's when you realise,
time doesn't change a single thing,
time doesn't heal wounds,
time is an intangible dimension that exists only in your perceptions.
You don't move,
neither does time.
That's it.
I've moved.
I am not who I was.
I'd never be and I never gonna will.
Changing back,
entails moving back in time.
I can't it's too painful.
I can hardly breath.