I've never ever felt so demotivated before.
A serious lack in line of sight between performance and outcome.
Sometimes I feel like I'm going round in circles.
Extra input, decimated output.
Swimming in my pool of unrealised fantasies.
And drowning in my own self-fabricated morass of emotional fatigue arising from
fruitless hard work.

Why did I allow my last sem's gpa to dent my pride
and set off a series of mindless self-doubts?
My struggle to prove my intellectual worth to myself
is ironically leading to premature apoptosis of my much needed brain cells
due to the self-inflicted, numbing stress.
It's like hitting yourself on your head
and crying out in pain.