It crept up on me when I least expected.
Thought I had been so over it
but now it feels just like I've been going in circles all this while.
I told a close friend,
in a state of silly, drunken unconsciousness,
that, at that moment,
I was missing you real bad
because
you were the only one I could trust.
This was something that was not known to my conscious ego
and had lurked within the parameters of my unconscious Id.
Sigmund Freud would have agreed to my assumption
and called this repression, a defense mechanism to cope with stress.
But behavioral psychologists would say otherwise,
labeling it classical conditioning
and attribute it to a conditioned learned response
triggered by formerly unconditioned stimulus
which had been transformed to a conditioned one over time.
Given the two proposed theories,
I'd pick the latter.
I have to pick the latter.
I've got no choice.
I do not wanna get stuck in the past
and in limbo.
Even if it means committing intellectual dishonesty.
I've got no choice.
My hands are tied.