i cried my eyes out just for you.
i prayed for you today,
to be happy, to be blessed.
but you won't know.

i kept the good luck message you sent me,
i was so happy when you remembered where you last saw me months ago,
i was so ecstatic when i bumped into you in the club,
but you don't know.

i don't know why i was so honest in front of you,
had i lied; had i not said those words, would our future have been different?
perhaps maybe, perhaps not,
but i'll never know.

the pain, the regret, the sadness,
i'm not sure if i've made you feel that way before,
but if i did, i could understand now,
but it's probably too late; i don't know.

if i have the chance,
if i have the nerve,
someday, i'll probably let you know,
but when the day will come, i'll never know.

when it does, we probably have moved on,
probably it doesn't matter anymore,
sad isn't it?
that's how i feel now.

overwhelmed.

former lover, former crush.
neither here nor there.
stuck in between nowhere,
yet feeling a mashup of feelings.
prolly just trying to fill a void,
or is it just an indecisive me?

Because there should be no regrets in life,
Because you won't believe what others told you,
Because you wanna see it for yourself to prove its real,
Because you naively believed nothing's gonna kill you,

You head out to where danger lies,
where the unknown lurks,
where excitement is,
where uncertainty prevails,

You then realise,
curiosity could have killed the cat,
what doesn't kill you,doesn't necessarily makes you stronger,
you may escape all these crushing catastrophes,but not unscathed
all that enlightenment does come with a heavy price tag.

You begin to wonder,
why did you screw yourself up?
what if you are unfixable?
how come the scars still feel as deep as they were?
will you ever be whole again?

Tell me,
why did i do this again?

I just stared at all of it, fading away,
Right in front of my eyes,
'cos I'm just so tired;
Rid of any energy-
Simply unable to chase after
these dreams that I wanted so badly to come true.